


Rather This Than A Heart Attack

by RageHappyThunder



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-08
Updated: 2013-11-08
Packaged: 2017-12-31 21:38:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1036672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RageHappyThunder/pseuds/RageHappyThunder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joel is a very stressful person, obviously. But what Ray doesn’t know is that Joel, not frequently but occasionally has panic attacks. Joel one day has one at the office, Geoff knows Joel and comforts him but sends Ray out of the room when it happens. Ray is distressed and Joel and Ray talk after</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rather This Than A Heart Attack

So Joel was at his office, nothing special just another day. He had to organize all the papers on his desk and write some scripts then get clearance to have some of the cameras but Gus didn’t fucking get back to him, and then he had to check his stocks, plus someone needed him to voice act something, and now he has to read his script and go through it with a black marker so he can omit the shit he didn’t like and then he had to ignore the feeling in his chest. The constricting feeling when a heart beats too much and his stomach feels hollow, like a million moths are inside trying to break free but can’t find a light to flock to. His face feels flushed and his shirt collar feels like it’s constricting his neck, he’s breathing, he knows he’s breathing if he wasn’t breathing then he wouldn’t be alive. He’s going to ignore it. He’s going to ignore the panic that’s rising up his throat like a bad lunch combined with a bottle of whiskey that was drunk too quickly. There is no panic. He is not having a panic attack and his hands are not shaking. There is no one at the door, Geoff is not standing in front of him along with a concerned Ray. Joel is /not/ cracking under pressure and man this goddamn office is hot, it’s like the humidity from outside found a way in and is proceeding to suffocate him like a blanket over his mouth.

“Easy Joel, Calm down.” A voice said, but it seemed to be so far away, like a light at the end of a never ending tunnel, you keep trying to get so close to it but then, _poof_  it’s gone.

He felt someone’s hand on his back, and he breathed a slow steady sigh.

“I-I,” Joel opened his mouth and tried to speak but his tongue felt numb.  
“Shh, it’s okay. You’re going to be okay; just breathe in and out and in again okay Joel?” The figure had strong hands, and he was rubbing small circles on Joel’s back.

So he let his shoulders drop.

“I’m okay?”  
“Yeah?” Joel looked up and Geoff was smiling down at him.  
“I’m okay,” he said, his breathing steadying, the nervous feeling retreating like a dog with his tail between his legs. “Thanks.”

“No problem, but you gave your boyfriend a scare.” Pause. “Uh shit dude,” Geoff walked back to Joel.

“No, I’m fine, I’m not gonna panic again. Just- When was…? Why were you both in my office?”   
“We wanted to see if you were up to make a video but um, I saw you panicking and shaking so I told Ray to leave. I didn’t-”  
“But I-”  
“What the fuck dude, just handle your boyfriend.” Geoff threw his hands up in defeat, “But don’t over exert yourself.” He opened the door and Ray was to the side, he looked at Geoff and opened his mouth as if to speak but Geoff walked passed him. Joel shyly walked out the door and pulled Ray into his office shutting the door behind them.  
“Joel are you okay?” Ray asked, with urgency, “Geoff told me to leave when we walked you you were shaking and I thought-, I thought-”

“Wait. Just. ShooooOOOosh.” Joel put his hand on Ray’s face and Ray grabbed Joel’s hand affectionately, stoking the back of it with his thumb.

“I thought something bad happened.” He lowered his head and Joel smiled his lopsided smile.

“I just, it was just a panic attack. I just get overwhelmed sometimes. They’re not frequent.” Joel felt like he was trying to justify a really bad looking case to a jury. _(Look I didn’t mean to punch this old lady in the face she just kinda walked into my fist.)_

Ray lurched forward and hugged Joel tightly, catching him by surprise.

“Jesus Ray, you were, uh really worried hm?” Ray nodded into the hug and Joel rested his chin on top of Ray’s head.

“God Joel, just warn me or something next time; I want to know how to help you.” Joel laughed, and murmured an ‘okay’.

  
(For some reason, when Ray hugged him; it made his insides feel like they were filled with light, but no moths dared to fly forward.)


End file.
